Open Relationships

Open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, and polyamory are not new, but they still feel new, alien, and even threatening to a lot of people.

Many will say you can’t have your cake and eat it too, they’ll call it a fear of commitment. Even therapists will often suggest you have an attachment disorder. Meanwhile, some politicians will say, the next thing you know, people will want permission to marry animals!

But is working at having what you want really inferior to resenting your partner/spouse and grieving an attainable fulfilment?

So many relationships labeled monogamous become tumultuous and even end as a result of infidelity, it might be said that the assumption and expectation of monogamy is a leading cause of divorce.

To be fair, as sexual orientation is hardwired rather than chosen, the same might be true for someone who is monogamous/non-monogamous. In both cases, pressuring someone to be other than what they are is oppressive and can be abusive. So it is important to distinguish between what is learned and what is true to your being. It is possible for ones orientations to shift over time - but not by the will of others.

It is also important to distinguish if there is a problem in your relationship that is being overlooked or avoided rather than a genuine interest and capacity for non-monogamy.

Any which way, I am here to help you untangle the threads of societal expectations, personal needs and relationship dynamics so that you can entangle in the ways that make sense for you as individuals and as a couple, triad, etc.